My words trickled out on their own and I waited for her to respond. Usually, there was acceptance and a thanks and a quietly closing door. Rebecca wasn't finished.She felt so strongly about this situation that she'd nearly acted on her impulses several times. She revealed that she'd seen him just moments before and saw the tired sadness in his eyes. She wanted so badly to help, even if just to give him a moment of forbidden pleasure. 'Forbidden.' Yeah, she used that word and I felt panic as I understood that she might be talking about me. I stumbled over my words, assuring her that God had a plan for everyone and that her faith was being tested. All she had to do was not act in this way.Rebecca was quiet for a moment and then softly thanked me and left. My pulse raced, my heart in my throat as I tried to digest her words and not feel them so personally. Soon, the door on the other side opened and a new confessor entered. I returned, barely, to my role and spent another hour listening. If the deputies on duty found out they swung by. They said it was to see me run in my track suit, which was bullshit. They were there because they thought I needed to be watched. Of course I didn't agree.I worked out in my storage building. I beat that duffel bag senseless, but it never complained. When it cut and bruised my hands I didn't complain either. I was behaving myself even though it was hard. I had slipped off to Abbottsville a few times but I never found the courage to go to the dance club, or to go to the mall when Kara was there."Hey you are the Sheriff of Warren County aren't you," A very well dressed young man asked."Guilty," I said. I just wanted to drink my drink in peace. Things were so boring I was about to go crazy."You are like that walking tall guy," he said."Not really, I do carry a gun," I said. "and I get along with everybody." I heard that about you. I also heard, if you want to buy drugs these days, you need to go to a different county." He said."Now you.
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