" It's gonna hurt the first time he fucks you." Maybe he won't," I shrugged."Yeah, probably not, huh?" Angie giggled. "You're the one who's weird, Steph." I'm saving it, so what?" It isn't money, it's fun." Angie shifted a little. "You can't save up fun, that's stupid. All you do is miss out on it." Maybe it's special." I glanced at her while I waited for my chemicals to change color."It is special," Angie agreed."Then what's wrong with waiting?" Cause it can be special now, dopey!" she laughed at me."What do you care if I have sex or not?" I was writing in my notebook."I just wanna know if you're ever gonna fuck Mark or not," Angie said, like she was talking about the weather."What? Why?" Cause he's fucking someone and so he'd probably fuck me, if I asked him real nice." Angie gave me a look. "And if you don't care who he's fucking, then..." What?" I said in a low voice. I didn't like this." ... I don't want him to be my boyfriend. I ain't gonna steal him or anything. I just want to. I think I can understand not being able to have children, it's notthat uncommon, but why fake a pregnancy? I mean, what's the point?" Having a baby is the pinnacle for a woman honey, and even though I can'thave children of my own, I can enjoy the experience, and who knows, maybeit will make me a better mother if I adopt someday!" Don't you mean when we adopt?" What!? Are you asking me to marry you!?" Susan, we're virtually married right now! So yes, I guess I am asking youto marry me!"I was stunned to say the least. Our relationship was one of mutualsatisfaction, much like any marriage, yet to have him ask me that was noteven on my radar! I'll admit that I had thought of it, but as much as Iloved being a woman, I wasn't one, and how could I ever tell him that? Istarted to cry, unable to say yes or no. I was conflicted, but more, I wasafraid. How could I ever manage to become a real woman without him findingout? And if I told him the truth, would he still want me? Greg rose up,took me.
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