Then suddenly ... there I was!It felt warm, comforting. I was standing on a hill, there was a breeze against my face, though again, there hadn't been until I'd considered it, then there it was! It was quiet, peaceful, just as I imagined it might be, would be. I looked down at myself, I was old."Damn! Arn't we supposed to change back to the best way we ever looked, or should look?" I wondered. And suddenly, I did. At least I wasn't just a thought floating around without substance. Then I grimaced, worried that I would be, but that didn't happen."Ok, that's better. Much, much better!" I said feeling a hell of a lot better admittedly. But it was still strange.I mean, we all have our own ideas of what Heaven is supposed to be like I suppose. But this wasn't like anything I'd ever even heard of or imagined before either. No pearly gates, though they'd have looked really out of place from where I was standing. No white haired guy in a white flowing robe with a great big book with a bright. I hadnever been racist in any way but until I came to Berlin I'd only ever hadsex with Caucasian men. I discovered I loved middle eastern men, their jetblack hair, their hairy bodies and their skin which seemed so dark besidemy white Irish skin. And so I decided I would like more and I resolved tolook for a black man. I think I just relished strong differences between meand the men I saw; I liked polarities - their ultra masculinity against myultra femininity, their dominance against my submission... So the greatestpossible disparity in skin colour was an aspect of this.I looked for ads online and posted ads myself but there are not so manyblack guys in Berlin. However, one day I saw an ad from a young black manlooking for a crossdresser and wrote him an email. I actually thought Iwould never hear from him as he was much younger than me and even thoughthat was no problem with the Turks who were sex starved, I couldn't imagineit applying to a young black guy but within a few days I.
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