. I'll be okay. I feel better now.". I damn well better be okay. I can't tell him the truth.I managed to get through the evening without shaking too much. I was still shook up in the morning, but not quite as bad. I showed up for my shift at noon, not knowing how I could get through the next few hours. Somehow I did it. Fortunately the traffic was light that evening and I was able to go to the restroom and sob my heart out several times during the shift. Ohgawd, ohgawd, ohgawd I can't wait for this shift to be over -- I can't take this tension any more. Ohgawd if the shift is over I'll have to go out with him. I can't do that. Ohgawd, ohgawd, ohgawd. In spite of all my efforts to keep it from happening, 8:30 arrived. I went out the kitchen door into the parking lot. I stood there looking around, not sure what I was looking for. Maybe it was a joke. Maybe he won't be there. Ohgawd let it be a joke . Then I saw the headlights of a car flash on and off. I walked slowly. In my dream, we would laugh and play together, making me forget about the darkness that was occurring in my life at that particular time. The funny thing about this dream was, as I grew older, so did Sara. By the time I was twenty, the vision of her beautiful lithe body with flowing long blonde hair and huge blue eyes was eternally etched in my mind, and little did I realize at the time, but my heart as well. And when my fiancée, Kelly, left me yesterday, I again dreamed about Sara last night. In the past when I awoke from dreaming of her, I always felt a little lost and empty. However this time there was something more, a yearning perhaps, but I still had yet to realize it. Chapter One I had just gotten off from work that afternoon and was headed to the sports bar down the street to watch the Cowboys play, I live in Dallas, Texas. Anyway, when I pulled my car into the parking lot of the bar, I laughed when I heard my stomach growl and knew it was time to eat. I did the usual.
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