I skipped the admiration stage and fell directly into love. I don’t have any real idea of her feelings, or potential for feelings, or lack thereof, neither do I know if I could pass muster in her mind as a possible husband. All I know is how much it means to me to see her, to spend time with her, to interact and feel the potency in my lifeblood as we talk. And we have another dinner, and we have another conversation: she is well, something frustrating happened at her job recently, her sister is pregnant and coming into town with her husband for a joyous visit. I look at her when she says the word ‘pregnant.’ I almost hold my breath, listening for embarrassment, for any tremor accompanying the concept as she is telling it to me. But I still cannot tell. ‘Well, tell her my congratulations,’ I say. ‘I’ve got to say that I’m a little envious,’ she responds. ‘She’s only been married about a year. And she’s only two years older than I am. I…this sounds silly, but I’ve actually started. I could hear her in the other room talking. And I could see her from the kitchen, and through the hallway, all the way to her room. She was putting on some white stocking with a great shine to them.“You see, son, I thought you were stronger than this! You, falling for a little filthy sissy! Yes...I taped you fucking your friend! And yes, mommy liked it! But it is wrong, son! I always thought you liked me, son! And mommy is very disappointed with you! Though you’re still my son, I need to punish you for liking your sissy friend more than me! Anyway, I helped you out with your little friend. And look at her now! Get over here, bitch Jennifer!”I walked into the room where she filmed herself. She took the camera off the tripod and filmed me.“Is this girl not beautiful? And she obeys everything mommy says! Right, Jennifer?”“Yes, mom!”“Wanna see some tricks, son? Yes, you do! Sit on your knees on the floor and bark like a dog!”I did as she told me - I sat down and barked.“Wuf wuf. Rrrrr.
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