. (honest and no kidding!)1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 square foot house 4 inches deep.2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.3. A 3 year olds voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing batman underwear and a superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room.5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.6. The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.7. When you hear the words "Uh-oh" it's already to late.8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.9. A six year old can start a fire. ‘My secretary would be the executor of the will. She used to be my chief accountant but Uncle Maurice thought they should trade places and did. He had been my aide.’ Her secretary was the brains of the outfit and had power of attorney, she could withdraw the money. That evening I checked on the secretary’s copied hard drive and found an enormous slice of memory assigned to a folder titled ‘Other’ but I could not get into it. I searched for frequent references and was not too surprised that her most referenced non-work subject was also Shakespeare. Rumors of a relationship between her and Maurice were rampant in the office. I tried ‘ladymacbeth’ and I found the entire plot in her files. We had suspected there were four illegitimate companies but I found seven. Fortunately the accountants, bookkeepers and local managers were listed. That Friday I called my support team and had them pick up Angel and give her a complete physical over the weekend looking for poisons. Then as a.
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