I went over to her."Yes Susie, go to sleep."She looked at my pajamas."Aren't you Johnny when you're dressed like a boy?" Not when I'm at home. I had a long talk with Kelly's Mom while you twowere playing and she helped me to understand that Jenny is who I am, nomatter what I wear. I put on my boy's pajamas just to see if I feltdifferent, but I don't. I'll always be Jenny. It's just that sometimes Ihave to pretend not to be. So, when I'm outside and dressed like a boy,I'm Johnny. Got it?" Uh, huh," Susie said sleepily. "Jenny inside, Johnny outside. Read me astory, please, Jenny." It's too late, Susie, but I'll stay here with you, until you fall asleep.Okay?" 'Kay. Night Jenny."It only took a few minutes before Susie was back in dreamland. I got up,went to the closet, hung up the skirt and sweater and left quietly. I sawthat Mom's light was on. It was past ten o'clock and Beth's curfew was11:00, so I guessed Mom was waiting up for her. I walked down the hall andI went in.Mom was. There is little to be gained by rehashing past mistakes in your head again and again, losing sleep over it, and making yourself mental in the process. And yet this is exactly what I did on a regular basis. It's said that without closure, no relationship is ever truly over. It's also been written that sometimes closure can come from writing a letter to your ex that you never intend to send. But sometimes closure can come in the form of a dream...The first time I ever experienced what I would define as a "lucid wet dream" I was certain that I was somehow "quantum leaping" into my past self from the present. I had prepared for bed that night, a middle-aged man in my forties, snuggled in beside my wife. She was pregnant with our fourth child, and sex was something I dimly seemed to recall from nearly a year ago. My wife and I loved one another deeply, but with three kids and one on the way, making time for intimacy and passion is not often possible.This night, I was horny, and my wife.
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