I was more than a bit ignorantof the transgender scene, which was non-existent in my home town as faras I knew, and the internet was not as sophisticated as it is now. Itmay sound odd, or contradictory, but I guess I convinced myself that ifI was a woman, it would not be so wrong, but I was a man. In any event,I was pretty sure that I had taken my walk on the wild side and spentsome time overcompensating for it. A nice fantasy to use, but notsomething I would repeat. I would walk down the street desperatelytrying to make sure that I was attracted to every woman that went by.Unfortunately, my period of real chastity didn't last all that long.After a few weeks of trying to be very macho, I reverted back to beingmore feminine, at least in private. In short order, I became addictedto my closet dressing and wore panties underneath my regular clothesalmost every day. I also painted my toenails and went about my businesswith my covered up toes screaming alternative lifestyle. In. “You’re supposed to be praying while you’re doing that and what I need to tell you is pretty much the epitome of unholy.”Mom nodded grimly and went back to kneading the dough. I went up to my room and unplugged my mini stereo and carried it down to my car. Then I boxed up all my albums and put them in the car as well. I went to the kitchen and got an RC just as Mom was putting the bread into the oven to bake. She washed her hands, poured herself some lemonade and we went out to the patio.“It’s really that bad?” she asked sipping her lemonade.“You might want some of Granddad’s vodka in that lemonade.”“No; I saw your father last week after all that Scotch. I’ll stick to lemonade.”I took a deep breath, “If Liz knows you know this, she’ll lose her mind. I almost lost mine. It was that close, Mom.”“Just spit it out, Mike.”“Before I do, I want you to know Liz said what she did to provoke me to react. I didn’t react the way she needed me to, and she only sank deeper and deeper until I, as.
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