I wasn'tinterested in discussing soaps, make up, hair products, gossip. Whenthey realised I had nothing to contribute to these topics, when, despitetheir prodding, they found I had no public outrage for Evan, nocomplaint against the police or even disgust for Kennedy then theirinterest and society drifted away from me. I didn't miss them.Could I be Evan again? Biology was against me there. Whether I liked itor not, I was a blonde woman, though I did consider declaring myselfmale and becoming a transgendered man. I could have taken hormones torediscover the joy of shaving, had a double mastectomy to ged rid of thewobbly boobs, go through a hysterectomy (more appealing after enduringmy first period) and obtain a surgically reconstructed penis to playwith. The more I considered and researched this option the more I knewthat I wasn't hungry enough for such commitment. I didn't miss my cock,I didn't miss the society of men, I didn't feel that I was going toimprove my life by going through. Anche se come uomo non mi dispiaccio, e mi ? anchecapitato di innamorarmi di un altro uomo gay, nel profondo della miaanima in realt? sapevo che questo era un compromesso. Io non ero gay, enon lo sono. Sono una donna etero. Ecco quello che sono.Curiosamente, tuttavia, nel corso del tempo il mio diventare orso non hafatto altro che far riemergere la mia disforia di genere. Sin da moltogiovane, ero stata attratta da uomini maturi con la pancia. Da piccol*ero decisamente un* feticista di pance. In spiaggia d'estate impazzivo aguardare uomini che sarebbero potuti essere mio padre con queste panceanche enormi mostrate con orgoglio e sfacciataggine. Quando intorno al1997 ho cominciato a identificarmi come orso in maniera pi? decisa, ilpasso da l? a voler ingrassare per essere pi? orso anch'io fu breve.Cominciai ad ingrassare (il posto e l'epoca stavolta rendevano il tuttopraticamente una passeggiata). In breve tempo ingrassai di 15 kg, esviluppai una bellissima pancia maschile, della quale.
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