I was beginning to wonder if she had second thoughts on making mycontinence disappear like that.Monday was more of the same from Sunday, but she insisted on playing?tea party? with me for a while in the morning, playing dress-up withsome costumes all afternoon, and then let me have some time on my ownto read in the top of the indoor playhouse once Mindy had again takenoff for the day. That evening she?d had another rum and coke while wewatched a movie, and all I wanted to do was steal her drink instead ofdrinking the stupid baby bottle of Plapple juice I?d been stuck with!?I am going to get so drunk if I ever get out of this...? I thought tomyself morosely.I was especially thinking that as I was carried by Addy inside thedaycare the next day. "Hi, I?m here to drop off Cammie?" Oh... Hi Miss Harris!" the receptionist turned her smile way up atrecognizing her. "Do you want to go ahead and take her to her roomyourself? After the first day we usually let parents do so if theywant?"Addy. Give my captor what they wanted...show himthat he had won...that he had finally taken all that I had to give. And I hoped it was enough...I prayed that itwas enough and that tomorrow would bring a darkness that I wouldn't beconscious of...wouldn't be conscious of because it was finally over...my soulwould finally be at peace and far from this room, far from this never endingdark and void that had become my world, had become the cage that I was forcedto inhabit, to pace in and to chafe at...the prison that had become my life. ***Part III I had cried myself to sleep. I had slept a soul deep sleep, a sleep that onlycomes from profound exhaustion. I was aware of nothing...no dreams...not thehardness of the floors, not the presence of the chain. When I awoke, my headhurt dreadfully. I chalked it up to the fury of emotions from the day before. Ifelt shame at my behavior, at my weakness. I told myself that my predicamentwasn't so bad, that I could live out my days here without worry over.
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