I looked at Rachel and asked her for her hand and without hesitation she lifts it to me, folding over doubling the rope I wrap it around her wrist and give it a double tie and she smiles and flushes slightly. Once snug I take the end and hold and tell her pull as hard as she can like you want to get away from me, she leaned back and pulled and the rope held and even tightened more from the loop underneath. She said WOW that worked and that was a simple knot and and as she stuttered because I was still holding the loop, you need to come closer so I can untie it from your wrist and she muttered Well I, I guess. Then she stumbles a step to me and puts her other hand over the rope looking down but I can see she is flushing red, I asked if she is ok and she said we need to test the rope one more time since it is holding good but I want to make sure. We walk across the store to the restroom and she ushers me into the women's and locks the door then turns to me and says Ok - now you can. Instead of her default tempestuous glare, dripping with sex and bad intentions, Zoey made eye contact with me in an almost empathetic way. At least that was the way I hoped she was looking at me.Either way, it was a look I'd rarely seen from the girl.Zoey just looked scared and apprehensive, like a little girl that awoke to her parents fighting."She's lost it," I attempted to tell Zoey with my eyes. "I'm trying to do all I can to make it better."As I tried to communicate those words with my eyes, Zoey somehow received it. Her expression softened even more.Zoey's expression, God help me, somehow was the worst thing I could have seen at that moment.I'm not proud of it, but for the first time, I was thinking about Beth like she was broken. Irreparably. The concept that was swimming in my mind, that a simple sexual relationship was breaking her brain even further, had me doubting what I was doing with her.Could I even deal with this?Could I deal with a woman who may never want to have sex.
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