Chuck’s c***dhoodNot much is known about Chuck’s early life. Chuck Norris has no mother, as crawling out of a vagina is unbecoming of a man of his stature. Chuck Norris spontaneously came into existence on Karl Marx’s birthday. This was no accident since Chuck Norris is the polar opposite of communism’s yin, and the very thought of communism makes Chuck Norris Want to puke.Chuck Norris Defender of FreedomChuck Norris has fought in every American war including the American Revolution, The War of the Worlds, Korean War, Vietnam, Desert Storm, Black Hawk Down, World War 1, World War 2, Red Dawn, American Civil War, the Iran-Iraq war (on both sides simultaneously), and the War on d**gs. The only war Chuck has not fought in was the French and Indian war because Chuck Norris could give a shit less about the French, in Chuck’s opinion the French complain to much and deserve to get their asses kicked. Chuck Norris wins by attrition.Chuck’s Favorite Foods:WhiskeySteel WoolSometimes when. I thought that they were either Pawnee or Arapaho, but it made little difference, since either one would have been happy to lift my hair. I started to pass burned-out homesteads, so I figured that I was into the edge of the area I was looking for. I was not yet to what would eventually become Colorado, but that was a technicality. The Indians paid no attention to such artificial boundaries, so I did not either.My first encounter with a hostile gang came about one day as I was riding over the treeless plain; I had finally gotten that far west. I rode over a little ridge that silhouetted me against the sky. No, I was not careless; I had gotten somewhat bored and was trying to get a little action. A war party of Pawnees spotted me and came charging in my direction. There were nine warriors in the group, and they were armed with lances and bows. This was too early in the conflict for the Indians to have guns.I was always on the lookout for a defensive position; I never got too careless.
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