Although I did attempt to master the footjob (made difficult and frustrating by my tendency to get foot cramps), Siggy did not require any attention to his fetish that I was not comfortable with. I began to find that, though they were quite ’90s, I kind of liked the look of the anklets and toe rings he gifted me with. And I was head-over-heels in love with him and therefore, in the midst of it, loved everything about him.The ending began not due to the fetish itself, but to the publicizing of it. Like he did in high school, he decided not to hide this part of himself from his new group of friends. Although I was a bit disappointed that I would no longer be the sole possessor of this intimate secret, I supported and encouraged his coming out like a good girlfriend should. What I hadn’t quite realized is that it had now become my secret, too.As soon as people found out, I could see the images of the weird stuff we must get up to going through their heads. I could see in them the same. I felt someone SPIT in my face. I was DISGUSTED?and yet at the same time, all the guilt, all the hurt I felt from the past years?I felt I deserved it.Another person peed on me, holding my mouth open this time. I pushed the liquid out, denying it. ?SWALLOW BITCH? A strange voice said.It was the hardest thing I?d ever done, but I swallowed. ?Now sit there in your filth and think about what you?ve done.? My father said.Over what felt like the next few hours I sat, and thought, and cried and shivered. I thought about all the shitty things I?d done. The time my mom went through cancer and I was so selfish as to feel jealous at all the attention she was getting?and oh god how much I?d whined.I felt a cold rush of water. I yelped. Sharp bristles covered my body. The pain and cold awoke me.?I will not have you making a mess of my house.? My father said, just as stern. My father grabbed me by the hair again and dragged me across the room. I was no longer fighting outwardly, but.
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