I just went into the barn and cried while I brushed Gypsy. I hated him. I hated my life. I wouldn't even be riding the bus with the junior high schoolers. I was dead meat.I didn't go outside for the next week. I went to the attic instead.The problem with the attic in the winter was that it was too cold to stay in for long. In the summer, it's hotter than hell. One afternoon it had to be a hundred degrees up there and I just started mixing chemicals randomly. Nothing blew up, but I hit some combination that stunk to high heaven. And it was one of those "heavier than air" things that went right down the stairs. In a few minutes, Mom had me taking everything out to the garage and opened all the doors and windows—most of which were already open as it was July. She had two big box fans and a little rotating one in the kitchen trying to air the house out.Funny. Next day, Dad said they'd found a science camp they thought I'd be interested in. Sunday I was on a bus.I was pretty smart, but. I was just stupid. I gave that woman, my heart, my mind, my trust and all of my faith ... Never again. I had no fucking clue. Anyway ... we raised the three of you and got you all through school. Michael, you got married and had a great job. Jess, you were about to get married and Conrad worked in the family business with me." Mike, you were the son every guy always wanted. You made your own way or tried to. I never minded helping you out on occasion when necessary. Jessica, you were my little princess. Rad, you were an asshole. You showed up late for work more often than you were on time and you criticized and countermanded every decision I made. I just didn't understand why then. Since then I've realized that middle children tend to act out because they're usually ignored. The oldest kids and the babies always seem to get all of the attention." So, there I was, married for just over thirty years with the world in my pocket. I was giving serious thought to retiring at fifty two and.
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