I love what I do and it pays the bills. I mean, food has to be put on the table somehow.’ His eyes cut into narrow slits at my last sentence. He knows it was directed at him. ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ he asked. ‘You and I both know that currently your career is total shit and that you’ve morphed into a stay at home dad.’ ‘So you’re kicking me when i’m down.’ ‘I’m not kicking you. I’m just saying that i’m not fond of your complaints. I can’t give you, the kids, and my job 100% all the time. You don’t know how stressed i’ve been.’ ‘I’m stressed too. My career is at a stand still and I have to deal with the kids all day and night.’ ‘Yeah well I’m trying my best not to break down because my emotions are still scattered due to my parents demise. I have to pay all our bills AND keep food on the table! On top of that i’m doing my best to be a loving wife and active mom so excuse me if I am unsympathetic to your feelings.’ ‘So because you’re bringing home all the bread my feelings. ’ Softly and truthfully, I said, ‘You don’t know me at all,’ at the same time quickly weaving that emotional veil that had always protected me from the designsof others…especially females. For years with women, the only thing that had pierced its opacity had been my cock. ‘Perhaps better than you think,’ she said, as we started climbing up to the restaurant parking lot. ‘Look, I’m gonna take this slowly. See those cabins across the road? That’s a motel. I know your history. If all I wanted was your body I’d have either sucked you off in the cave or we’d be humping ourselves silly in one of those rooms.’ We shared one of her cigarettes outside the car before driving back, this time with me behind the wheel. ‘Ellie…I’ll need to think about this,’ I said, turning onto the highway. ‘Go ahead. I already have,’ she said, her fingers tapping my right leg in time with the notes of a Debussy Prelude that was on the radio. On the road back to Carmel she was silent, but her nimble hand never.
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