Zoe said ‘Action’ and Nikki and I stood facing each other. ‘You lost again,’ said Nikki. ‘I can’t believe it. I spend hours and hours working on your backhand and it’s as if I’d never bothered.’ ‘I’m sorry,’ I said. ‘He was just too good for me.’ ‘Sorry won’t cut any ice,’ Nikki said. ‘I warned you what would happen if you lost again. I’m going to give you the tanning of a lifetime.’ ‘Please don’t,’ I said. ‘It’s no good trying to get round me. Take your shorts off! Now!’ Sheepishly, I undid my shorts and let them fall to the floor. I stepped out of them. I was wearing a yellow thong. Nikki pulled me across to the bench. She sat down. ‘Now get yourself over my knee,’ she said. I got myself into position. Nikki grabbed my right wrist in her left hand and pulled it behind my back. She stroked my buttocks gently with her right hand. ‘This little butt of yours is going to smart,’ she said. ‘It’s going to burn like hell. You’ll be literally glowing when I’ve finished with you.’ She paused. Just like my students days, again. In fact, I decided that I'd really get back into the student way of doing things and drop into the village pub first, for a pint and a cheese roll. Though, I thought as I walked away from the pond, hopefully without the interminable conversation about Gramsci that ran on a loop there in "my day"...I was just turning into the car park when I saw her, my smoking friend from earlier, sitting at one of the tables outside, mobile in hand, smoking and having what looked like a fairly animated conversation. I nodded as I went past but I wasn't really sure if she'd noticed, then went on into the bar, and ordered the usual from the same foul mouthed and misanthropic landlord who'd run the place when I was sort of a regular. I also noticed a group of my fellow conference types at a table in the corner, sipping at soft drinks and producing reams of notes and drawings on piles of paper spread out between them. They looked busy so I was preparing to go back out.
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