And ... I love you so. God ... I'm so sorry I hurt you. I was jealous and immature and Amber and Jennifer ... they..." They said I was having an affair with Allison?"She nodded, tears streaking her cheeks."And they kept telling you that you could do better."She nodded again."What did you think?" I was so confused ... and then when I saw you leave with her that night ... I was convinced they were right ... but sometime later I realized ... remembering the look on your face when you ... that night when you ... when I ... when I betrayed and hurt you ... that there was no other woman." God I am such a fool. I couldn't bear it ... to lose you again ... not now ... not after finding you again. I love you so much Matt. I've never stopped loving you."She sobbed into my shoulder the rest of the trip down to the garage.The cold air of the garage swept over us as we left the elevator.She gripped my arm as we walked into the garage. She stopped and looked at me - arms around my waist, afraid of. Lolita replayed the restroom scene every night, wondering what happened. The music was consuming her brain, and sometimes she couldnt even hear the world around her. Lauren, Stacy, Bov, and Danny ate with her every day, and they invited her to spend time with them in the game room or the movie room. But mostly, Lolita wanted to be left alone. She hid in the library during her free time, between the ordered visits with a psychiatrist. One of the staff doctors had taken an interest in Lolita as well. She dreaded when the bandages on her arms would need changed. The doctor would sit her on the table, have her strip down so he could check her for self inflicted injuries. Then he would run his hands across her chest, and up her thighs. And the music would start in the back of her skull and ripple through her mind, leaving nothing but darkness behind it. Lolita would always leave the doctors exam room in a daze. The music would rack at her mind and she would be so overwhelmed by it that.
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