--Isabel Allende"You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman. Stuff you pay good money for later in life".--Emo Philips"If you wear a short enough skirt, the party will come to you".--Dorothy Parker"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps".--Tiger Woods"Usually I'm on top to keep the guy from escaping". --Lisa Lampanelli"It's work having a vagina. Guys don't think that it's work but it is. You think it shows up like that to the event? It doesn't. Every night it's like getting it ready for its first Quinceanera, believe me". --Amy Schumer"The only time a woman has a true orgasm is when she's shopping". --Joan Rivers"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch".--Jack Nicholson"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it. It all started after I had gotten ill and lost my job. I was home watching television. The girls were going swimming and their mom was at work. My wife has an international sale career and is away from home several days a week. Let me describe my angels for you. Pen, short for Penelope is the oldest and just turned 19. Julie is the youngest at 16. Pen has what I estimate to be a very nice c-cup and is wearing a string bikini that left very little to the imagination. Julie’s suit struggled to hold in the ample ass that she got from her mother. I look up from the TV as they walk by and my mouth completely drops. Where did these hot young women come from? They both are cheerleaders so, their bodies were very tight and for the first time, I was getting a throbbing hardon looking at my daughters. The guilt raged through me as I had no control over this. Julie asked, “Will you join us for a swim, Daddy?” “I’ll be there in a moment, Sweetie. I need to go change.” I obliged by going to.
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