The Man in the DressBy PretzelgirlOnce upon a magical shining morning a man who sat at a breakfast table nodded a silent "Good Morning" to his wife who had just crawled out of a long night's hibernation.She cocked an unfriendly eye at him."Herbert," she said. "Why are you wearing my clothes?"With an uncharacteristically high heart the man replied in a scratchy, squeaky voice: "I am not Herbert. I am Helen. And these are my clothes. Do you like them?"The man gracefully rose from the table. He loved sunny, shining mornings like this. His brawny, hairy arms bulged forth from a sleeveless, ankle-length floral print dress several sizes too small for his bulky frame. The man's feet, narrowly squeezed into silver-accented women's sandals, lithely danced across the kitchen floor towards the wife. She could just make out the outline of her bra and underwear beneath the tightly-worn dress. The wife cringed at the silhouetted bulge of the man's clearly unfeminine crotch. "Men do not wear. I know the church would welcome youeven if some had a little trouble at first. But you did not give them thechance..." she turned as though to go "... you disappoint me, goodbye,God bless."Well that did it, I hadn't meant to, but damn them..."I was there Cheryl..." She stopped and looked at me slightly puzzled,"... I did go and even if I was nervous I wanted to be there for you andGreg. Because you invited me and that meant a lot and sure I was nervousbut I wanted to be there. I got dressed all nice.. well I thought so,some obviously didn't. I got half way up the path from the side-streetbefore little miss pinch face lilac frock stopped me and called to a MrMcGuire. He's a charmer. Called me a mockery and made it quite clear Iwas not welcome, threatened to stop me forcibly if I tried to enter thechurch. I didn't know anyone there and I did not want to make a fuss onyour wedding day, so... I left. It was to be your day, yours and Greg'sand I couldn't mess with that..." I shrugged with.
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