I started thinking about what she had asked. She was right! What's worse, she knew she was right!That dark dirty little secret I had been carrying around for years that had lead to so many one- night stands and short-lived relationships that had never gone anywhere was finally out. I think somewhere deep down inside myself I wanted and needed to talk about it. 'How long had it been?' I thought to myself. Almost twenty years now?As I lay there, my breathing having calmed itself, I thought back to my college days and started to recall to her when it had all began.Chapter Two — "Refelections Of College"September 1978I guess it started after just after I left college.College had been one of the most difficult times of my life. I had just struggled to finish my last semester of college in time to graduate. I had been sick for most of my junior and senior years. I almost didn't make it in more ways than one. A gall stone nearly cost me my life and had caused me to loose several weeks of. Every time I had purged I regretted it. Some very kind and understanding girls helped me deal with it and told me that if that was my mindset that I should just put everything in a case and stick it in the loft or garage or somewhere out of site. When the desire came back I could just pick up where I left off, without having to go back out and buy a load of new stuff.They also made me realise that this was a part of me that was never going to go away so I should just accept it, embrace it and most of all enjoy it. I did feel somewhat liberated. Two days later I called Sarah back and told her all about my findings. She was very encouraging and we discussed what else I needed to get. I had no picture on the site but it would be much better if I did. The journey began with new vigour and the desire to get myself looking feminine was paramount. I found places online where I could get some wigs and dresses. I had already found a place to buy lingerie but needed so much more if I was going.
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