He shrugged and said, “Just show up.”“Bob, you don’t understand. I’m very concerned about hurting this person by accident. I don’t want to do anything wrong.” John looked at Bob.Bob was rather taken aback. He hadn’t thought that John could possibly be insecure about visiting the staff. He said, “Ling likes Lilies.”“You know who invited me?” John wondered how Bob would feel about Ling inviting him for the evening.Bob laughed as he answered, “Everyone knows that Ling invited you.”“Everyone?”“Yes, everyone.”John felt there was something significant in that. He asked, “Even Ed, Beth, and Kelly?”“Yes.”“Oh, I didn’t realize that.” He was really out of the loop on this invitation stuff. He wondered if the staff didn’t feel comfortable around him.Bob asked, “What are you worried about?”“She seems so emotionally fragile to me. I’m afraid that I’ll hurt her.”Bob frowned as he said, “As far as I know, you’ve never hurt anyone. There’s something else going on here. Tell me about it.”“I just feel. It makes making out more even, actually.In class, we’d just submitted our last experiment, one about electrochemistry which only increased my anxiety about Chem 102, and we’d wandered to the bench behind the library. We made the noises and nobody answered.“You know, Holly, you’re really cute,” he told me, putting his arm around me. “You really are!”“Thanks.” The guy was so sweet. I’m hardly cute, but at least I maybe felt a little bit cute around him.He paused another moment, then plunged ahead. “But I don’t want to mess things up.”“Like how?”“You know, us doing something we shouldn’t.”“I’m with you,” I assured himThe west side of Byler, out of sight from passersby, was what we called the Wow Wall, as you could back into the ivy for a “wow,” was where I ran my thigh between his, causing him to twist aside, but now knowing I could tell.After that, our legs were part of our making out, at which point he was totally defenseless.“Oh Jeez, Holly, I didn’t mean...” when I made him come in.
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