I fully intended to be depressed and in a bad mood.“What in god’s name are you doing here, Maria? Is that Gary trying to hide behind you?” I growled at my colleague and friend. “Don’t you know it’s Friday night when young, randy people are off hitting the Honky-Tonks downtown and getting laid?”“Doc, you have been in such a bad mood all week since your woman went back to Chicago, that we decided that our good deed for the week would be to come out and keep you company!”Even as sour as I was feeling, I had to smile — at least a little bit. This pair of my subs were sacrificing their Friday night pleasure on my behalf. It was actually rather touching.So in they came. We ordered some Thai food for them and I drank a little bourbon and watched and actually enjoyed their company. They were both intelligent and widely read (at least by modern standards) people who could discuss politics, art, music — whatever, and keep me amused.We had a fairly pleasant evening together and I was feeling. ”“Sure thing, see ya.” I waved goodbye and headed back to the house, thinking, now what, Mr. Genius? I went back in the house, and mom was coming down the stairs in her bathrobe, pen in hand, glasses low on her nose, studying her yellow-lined notepad.“Well, Teddy, that was quite interesting. I need to organize my notes for the next time Bill comes over. I have so many questions.”“Mom, come over here and sit down.” I walked with mom to the couch and we sat down. “Did you enjoy having sex with Bill?”“Yes, I think so. He is quite pleasant to look at.” Mom leaned toward me and, almost whispering, said, “And so very young.”“Did you have an orgasm?”“I don’t know. I was very busy taking notes and trying to get Bill to answer my questions. He didn’t keep his penis in me for very long.”I really did not need to hear that last part. But I pressed on, “Have you ever had an orgasm?”“I don’t think so.”I was in trouble here. Bill had not made much of a dent in mom’s misunderstanding of what sex was.
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