Mom was on the computer in a chat room for Ohio State and she was chatting away. She got a phone call and went down stairs to take it. I checked her chat talk and she was talking to an old boyfriend she used to date in college. They were talking about old times and how hot they used to get when they dated. I wondered if dad knew who she was chatting to him and what they were talking about.Saturday mom and dad were going out to a party and they were going to take me along. They said no other kids would be there and I could all play video games upstairs as they had their party down stairs. They had gotten a sitter for me but some how she canceled out.The parents had a cook out and a lot of drinks. They went in the pool after us I got out. They said I could play in the pool for two hours and then the parents had the pool and then I had to go up stairs to play games or watch TV.I played in the pool from about four to six. Then we all ate at six. By seven I headed for the upstairs. I was still here. So I was the one. A wise man once said, “Man is not a rational animal, he is a rationalizing animal”. No one knew the truth of that bit of wisdom better than I did at that instant. I was the one who had brought Ares to the penthouse. I was the one who had allowed Ares to defile her emotionally and physically. She knew all that, and yet somehow I was still her hero, her rock, her shelter. I made him go away. I was still here. I was the one.I could see that this new level of attachment would advance my plan in ways I couldn’t have imagined before. I should have been dancing on the inside. But instead I was consumed with guilt. I had done this to her.Yes, I waterboarded her too. But I was inside her head both times. Believe me, what I allowed Ares to do to her was much, much worse than the waterboarding. I felt guilty, but I couldn’t be weak now. If she was going to bounce back from this in just another day, then I had to be the hero she needed me to be.She had settled.
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