‘I love you, Joe. And I want to be with you. If that’s what you want,’ I added quickly. ‘I mean, I understand if I’ve fucked things up -‘ He placed his fingers on my lips to stop me. I looked at him nervously, trying to read his expression. The elevator dinged and the doors opened but I still couldn’t tear my eyes from his. He led me into the hall and stopped, pressing my back gently against the wall between the elevators. Resting his hands on the wall on either side of me, he hovered over me, filling my vision with his large frame. I tilted my head back to the wall, soaking him in. ‘I understand what you’ve been through, Chels,’ he said quietly. ‘I understand why you acted the way you did…but it tore me up.’ I squeezed my eyes shut briefly in pain. ‘I’m so sorry.’ ‘I know, and so am I,’ he told me. ‘I could have handled things better. I’m really sorry.’ He swallowed, staring at me regretfully. I nodded. ‘I just need to know – Chelsea, I need to know if you’re really sure. Because. "Tell me one thing," Marna asked, a faint hint of deviousness seepinginto her tone of voice. "Why are you being so nice to me? Sounderstanding? Why haven't you freaked out the way Mom and I did thismorning? Why haven't you thrown me out, calling me a fake, a witch, anintruder?" Spoken, again, like an adult. What you have to understand is, like Isaid earlier, I became obsessed with reanimation and I did my best tofind out as much as I could about it. To begin with all I wanted to dowas reassure myself that you weren't going to suffer, but then something else took over; something a bit darker."As I read more and more about total return. I began to realise therewas a way that you could come back to me after all, and it started toeat away at me inside. I knew how incredibly unlikely it was that thatwould happen, but as time went on, I began to dream more and more aboutsome miracle, where suddenly you would awaken and be brought back intomy life. The trouble was, I wasn't thinking.
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