”“The Paul you say!” shouted out Mary Chan. All but one of the judges roared with laughter.The one judge who did not appreciate the humor left the room, walking back to his office or “chambers” as it was sometimes called. If that little bitch Paula Akron hadn’t compared his entirely reasonable gag order to “turning my boyfriend’s name into a cuss word” this wouldn’t be happening. He should find some excuse to find her in contempt of court, but there was just nothing there. Then the little bastard Paul Macon had to win sympathy with the other judges, telling Judge Takeuchi about how he sometimes says “Paula” in private, in bed at night, over and over until he cries. Not a dry eye in the courtroom after that. The gag order was still in place, Takeuchi didn’t have the authority to overrule it, but now all the other judges seemed to be favoring the two brats. Too bad that bedtime crying crap didn’t technically violate the gag order, because these little snots needed to be taken down a peg. What did She want from me? What did She want me to do?I took a long at myself in the mirror. My hair was matted and stuck with bits of vomit. My face had a pale pallor and, quite frankly, I looked a mess. I’d really fucked up and was now just about at rock bottom. An overwhelming sense of shame washed over me; incidents came unbidden into my mind; how I'd lied, how I'd cheated, how I'd stolen. Suddenly I wasn't so proud of my reputation; I was a slut, and I was ashamed of it. And now there was Her, She had berated me, I definitely knew She wasn’t happy with me, but there was something there, something else. This wasn’t the incoherent rage I used to get from my father, it wasn’t anger that drove Her, it was disappointment, as if I’d let Her down. I felt small, I felt lost, I felt an aching need I couldn’t describe, but I didn’t feel afraid, not of Her.I was still staring at myself in the mirror when She returned.?Well?? She asked.?Please, Miss, please help me.? I don’t know where the.
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