I spent the wholenine months of the pregnancy wondering whether I would return to be mymale self or whether I would continue being Lena after my baby was born.I could not decide myself, so the ring took this in charge for me. Sincethen I made my "male self" write "from" the Ashram in India tocommunicate he discovered God and would never return. Of course, mysecretary Lena would hand over the papers to change the company in thenames of my trustworthy employees, with a generous provision for a newcash sum in name of Lena and her newborn son.Of course, all this happened afterwards, since after the nurse answeredmy last question, the door opened again and my son was brought to me.The first nurse helped me to half seat, saying:"This is the safest you can get, due to the epidural."and the other nurse placed my son in my lap, with the head close to myleft nipple.I said:"I don't know what to do."The second nurse, giggling, said:"Don't worry, he knows."And, in fact, soon his mouth found my. As the hill became steeper it became more and more difficult to walk. Aunt Jillian was wearing flip-flops which seem to suck down into the ground and sling back up, getting tiny specs of mud over her calves. Its too steep, Cam Jillian held onto my arm tightly, almost slipping. There was a set of large rocks which used to serve as makeshift steps once upon a time, but no one ever used it. Here, you go first, she pushed off my hand and I held her by the waist- lifting her up on the first rock. My hand grazed over the backside of her tiny denim shorts which now were clinging wet to her body. She had a perfect little heart shaped thigh gap below her tight shorts, which made me think of that text message again. Her legs werent terribly long, but they were on the slim side. Pass me the umbrella, she shouted. It was hard to hear over the roaring of the rain. I handed her the umbrella and made my way up the rock. The rest of stones were short and wide. Stay close to me she placed an arm.
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