I thought of the dark days of squabbling and shouting; I had never wanted to live in such circumstances. I had concluded that the only way I could be truly happy was to be alone and live to my own standards. But, surely, this was selfishness in the extreme; how could I not be happy except by helping my dependents? Yet in doing so I had made myself so unhappy, to an extent where I had seriously considered 'ending it all'. Who would I help then? I had to rationalize my feelings; my inner desires, to dress and enjoy my sexual self was infinitely strong. I knew that I could never dismiss them or sublime them with other activity; I had to accept these feeling for what they were. Any post-orgasmic self-disgust must be eliminated by understanding and absolutely accepting, that, like it or not, this is the way I am.Each night I would dress and make my attempts at make-up. I had looked at several web sites giving advice, and whilst I tried, carefully and slowly, I could never get the effect. I said Prassad was lucky for getting u as his wife.She said to me that he never care for herself and always torture her mentally and she cried by keeping hand on her shoulder and made her feel comfortable and said I am there to share her problems don’t worry ad I will show you the heaven by this and I saw a hope in her face suddenly my door bell is ringingShe came to normal and before going to open the door she gave me a hug and said today is the happiest day in her life but it ended very fast. With that hug I am in cloud 9 state as it is my first hug by women and that to my angel and I stayed in that position for a minute.It was her son who is ringing the door bell and she opened it and while going down she saw back and seeing me like that she gave a naughty smile. Till now I have no bad intentions on her but by seeing her smile I decided to do anything for her from that next day onwards.I saw changes in her behaviour while going on bike she holds me very tightly so that I can feel.
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