I went over, sat on the edge of the bed and started to rub her back. “It’s okay, mom, it’s okay, we can fix this.”Mom sat up while wiping the tears from her cheeks. “How can we fix this? Men just don’t like me.”“I don’t think that’s true. Can I ask you some personal questions?”“Of course, you can. You know you can ask me anything.”“Did you have a boyfriend in high school?”Still wiping tears from her eyes, she answered, “No, you know I skipped three grades, so they all made fun of me because I was so much younger and always got A’s.”“How about in college?”“No, I was too busy with my heavy course load, and I was only fifteen when I went to MIT.”“When was the last time you had sex?”“You know, last...”“Not counting last night.”“Three years ago at the Mensa convention.” She replied.“And before that?”“Six years ago.”“And before that?”“When your father got me pregnant.”My mother’s total sexual experience consisted of four one-night stands in nineteen years.“I know the problem, Mom, you may. I’ll continue until I run out of enthusiasm or money, whichever comes first.’ ‘I’d like to close tonight with one of my personal mantras. I don’t know who said it originally, but it has stuck with me for years.’ ‘It’s better to shake a hand than a fist.’ ‘Goodnight, all.’ …………………………………………. I looked at the camera until the light went off, then grinned at the camera man. ‘What do you think?’ ‘I ain’t required to think, bro, just make you look good. I will tell you this. You need another cameraman, so we can switch back and forth to different angles. It breaks up the monotony and keeps the viewers interested.’ I agreed with him and had him get another cameraman for the next broadcast. Aunt Elsa had left me in pretty good shape. I often wondered if Deb had known about the will she would have hung on. Too late now. Her house was estimated at eight hundred thousand dollars, her antiques about half that. She left me some money besides what I was spending, enough to live on comfortably for.
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