Lakin apne chote bhai ko apne saath nahi rakh sakta tha kuch ghareloo halaat ki waja se. So us ne mujhe sorry kaha or flat ki keys de ker apne bare bhai k saath chala gya. Mujhe bhi bura nahi laga kyonke halaat hi kuch is tarah k the. Maine flat ko ander se lock kia or zameen pe bister laga hua tha to aake lait gya. Saare din ki classes, assignments, presentations or project ne thaka dia tha. Mujhe pata hi nahi chala k kab mairi aankh lag gai. Raat k 11:00 baje achanak zor zor se darwaza kharkharane ki awaz ai to main bokhla k uth gya. Aik khof bhi tha halaat aise hain koi pareshani barhne wali baat na ho. Maine darwaze k paas gya or awaz lagai k kon hai. To mujhe 2 orto ki awaz sunai di k jaldi se darwaza kholiye bahar bohut ziada pathrao ho raha hai or gaarian jalai ja rahi hain. Main darwaza kholna nahi chah raha tha lakin halaat ne majboor ker dia darwaza kholne ko. So maine jaldi se un ko ander lia or darwaza band ker lia. Unse introduction hua or jo kuch khaane ka tha unho ne. I loved John with all my heart and soul, but what we were doing could not in any way be perceived as a mother’s maternal love for her son. It was nothing more than pure lust on my part, and I imagined on his part too.“I know, Honey. I can’t either.” I admitted.“I need to know where this is going. I will not be able to stop wondering when you will come to my room or ask me to join you. I thought about this all day. We either need to stop completely right now, or you need to let me know exactly what you expect from me. I want you to be happy, but I can’t just be on call whenever you feel you need me, not after last night. I won’t be able to stay in this house if I have to be near you and always wonder if you will want to be with me like that again. I’m afraid to even kiss your cheek because of what I may do.”John was right. I manipulated and used him to fill that empty spot in my life with little regard for the consequences. How could I have been so naive as to have thought that I.
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