Marie’s romances were like a chivalric epic. I couldn’t help but feel happy for her. She didn’t ask about Claude the Curator—who, apparently, was now a relic to her—but when she at last talked herself out, she did ask with a sly smile how I’d liked my surprise. Her face sank when I stumbled on my answer. Over a shared carton of vanilla yogurt, I explained, in part, what had transpired—that I wasn’t ready, that I didn’t think the watercolors were good enough for exhibition, that I’d decided to take them home with me. I left out the part about the miserably gorgeous man who actually bought them, and the bizarre arrangement we had made. She would have had a field day with that. She apologized again, though I could tell she didn’t quite understand. I asked about the titles she’d given my paintings—she shrugged, “C’était une église rouge,” she said. “And besides, people go wild for the angsty fille catholique thing, no? Look at Lady Gaga. Et Madonna.” I had to laugh. It was. Tina wasn’t so sure why we needed this toy after already picking out the first two. But I persisted. Again the sales lady was very polite, explaining the optimal depth for maximum satisfaction. At one point, I thought the sales lady was going to pull up her skirt and demonstrate for us first hand. By now Tina was almost distraught with sexual tension and build up. I thought she might physically attack me if I didn’t get her out of there soon. I told her I wasn’t going to leave until Tina demonstrated the wireless egg for me. If the darts from Tina’s eyes could have killed, I would have been six feet under. I asked the sales lady if Tina could enter one of the dressing rooms and insert the egg into her pussy. The sales lady smiled and knew that I wanted to tease Tina. Moreover, she knew what was coming next after we left. The sales lady gave Tina permission to do so on the guarantee that we would purchase the egg. I agreed and Tina stood there dumbfounded. She said she was not going.
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