I couldforesee that this would grow and intensify itself if and when we movedto the next stage. There would be a delicious, terrifying excitementabout going out with someone who was pretending to be something he wasnot: the constant fear of discovery; the worry that there might be ascene of some sort (or worse); the speculation about what other peoplewere thinking about us; the quizzical looks from waiters and hotelreceptionists as we swept into their establishments. And finally, therewas the undeniable fact that I was very fond of Martin. I desperatelywanted him to be happy, and I sensed that in the past his happiness hadbeen constrained by a reticence about pursuing his fantasies. Ifanything, discovering this new and quirky side of his character had mademe more - rather than less - anxious to please him. What all this mightmean for our relationship in the longer term, I put on hold for the timebeing.A few days after our adventure at Cassandra's, we were having dinnerwith. Well, by the time I got my thoughts around those thoughts, we werearriving at the club. I wheeled the Mustang into the parking lot andpulled right up to the same back door that Holly had taken me in whenwe were here last. I parked the car and Eric got out, quickly comingaround to the driver's side and opening the door for me. He reached inand took my left hand, assisting me in getting out of the car and then,he tucked my hand into the crook of his arm, but he allowed me to takethe lead when we reached the door. He told me,"From now on, YOU are Holly and you're gonna have to ACT the part. _I_don't belong here anymore as an employee, so YOU are going to have totake the lead as if you were always Holly and I am just another date ofyours. I'll help you all I can, but a lot of it's going to be up toyou. You'll find that, if you think about things for a second or two,the knowledge you'll need is there in your brain. The more you use it,the more easily you'll be able to access it, until it.
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